Breck Carter
Last modified: July 12, 1996
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The fRiDaY File, for July 12

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Thank you for calling the

Psychiatric Hotline.


If you are obsessive-compulsive,

please press 1 repeatedly.


If you are co-dependent,

please ask someone to press 2.


If you have multiple personalities,

please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.


If you are paranoid-delusional,

we know who you are and what you need.

Please stay on the line so we can

trace the call.


If you are schizophrenic,

listen carefully and the voices will

tell you what number to press.


If you are manic-depressive,

it doesn't matter which number you


No one will answer.


If you are on the Internet,

the above message has

already been sent to you.



Breck Carter can be reached by phone at (416) 763-5200 or via email at