Last modified: November 1, 1996
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How It Came To Pass
Long ago, in the days when all disks
flopped in the breeze and the writing of
words was on a star, the Blue Giant dug
for the people the Pea Sea. But he needed
a creature who could sail the waters, and
would need for support but few rams.
So the Gatekeeper, who was said to be both
micro and soft, fashioned a Dosfish, who
was small and spry, and could swim the
narrow sixteen-bit channel. But the
Dosfish was not bright, and could be
taught few new tricks. His alphabet had no
A's, B's, or Q's, but a mere 640 K's, and
the size of his file cabinet was limited
by his own fat.
At first the people loved the Dosfish, for
he was the only one who could swim the Pea
Sea. But the people soon grew tired of
commanding his line, and complained that
he could be neither dragged nor dropped.
"Forsooth," they cried. "the Dosfish can
only do one job at a time, and of names,
he knows only eight and three." And many
of them left the Pea Sea for good, and
went off in search of the Magic Apple.
Although many went, far more stayed,
because admittance to the Pea Sea was
cheap. So the Gateskeeper studied the
Magic Apple, and rested awhile in the Parc
of Xer-Ox, and he made a Window that could
ride on the Dosfish and do its thinking
for it. But the Window was slow, and it
would break when the Dosfish got confused.
So most people contented themselves with
Now it came to pass that the Blue Giant
came upon the Gateskeeper, and spoke thus:
"Come, let us make of ourselves something
greater than the Dosfish." The Blue Giant
seemed like a humbug, so they called the
new creature OZ II.
Now Oz II was smarter than the Dosfish, as
most things are. It could drag and drop,
and could keep files without becoming fat.
But the people cared for it not. So the
Blue Giant and the Gateskeeper promised
another OZ II, to be called Oz II Too,
that could swim the fast new 32-bit wide
Then lo, a strange miracle occurred.
Although the Window that rode on the
Dosfish was slow, it was pretty, and the
third Window was the prettiest of all.
And the people began to like the third
Window, and to use it. So the Gateskeeper
turned to the Blue Giant and said, "Fie on
thee, for I need thee not. Keep thy OZ II
Too, and I shall make of my Window an
Entity that will not need the Dosfish, and
will swim in the 32-bit Pea Sea."
Years passed, and the workshops of the
Gateskeeper and the Blue Giant were
overrun by insects. And the people went on
using their Dosfish with a Window; even
though the Dosfish would from time to time
become confused and die, it could always
be revived with three fingers.
Then there came a day when the Blue Giant
let forth his OZ II Too onto the world.
The Oz II Too was indeed mighty, and
awesome, and required a great ram, and the
world was changed not a whit. For the
people said, "It is indeed great, but we
see little application for it." And they
were doubtful, because the Blue Giant had
met with the Magic Apple, and together
they were fashioning a Taligent, and the
Taligent was made of objects, and was most
Now the Gateskeeper had grown ambitious,
and as he had been ambitious before he
grew, he was now more ambitious still. So
he protected his Window Entity with great
security, and made its net work both in
serving and with peers. And the Entity
would swim, not only in the Pea Sea, but
in the Oceans of Great Risk. "Yea," the
Gateskeeper declared, "though my entity
will require a greater ram than Oz II Too,
it will be more powerful than a world of
And so the Gateskeeper prepared to unleash
his Entity to the world, in all but two
cities. For he promised that a greater
Window, a greater Entity, and even a
greater Dosfish would appear one day in
Chicago and Cairo, and it too would be
built of objects.
Now the Eunuchs who lived in the Oceans of
Great Risk, and who scorned the Pea Sea,
began to look upon their world with fear.
For the Pea Sea had grown, and great ships
were sailing in it, the Entity was about
to invade their oceans, and it was rumored
that files would be named in letters
greater than eight. And the Eunuchs looked
upon the Pea Sea, and many of them thought
Within the Oceans of Great Risk were many
Sun Worshippers, and they wanted to excel,
and make their words perfect, and do their
jobs as easy as one-two-three. And what's
more, many of them no longer wanted to pay
for the Risk. So the Sun Lord went to the
Pea Sea, and got himself eighty-sixed.
And taking the next step was He of the
NextStep, who had given up building his
boxes of black. And he proclaimed loudly
that he could help anyone make wondrous
soft wares, then admitted meekly that only
those who know him could use those wares,
and he was made of objects, and required
the biggest ram of all.
And the people looked out upon the Pea
Sea, and they were sore amazed. And sore
confused. And sore sore. And that is
why, to this day, Ozes, Entities, and
Eunuchs battle on the shores of the Pea
Sea, but the people still travel on the