Breck Carter
Last modified: June 14, 1996
mail to: bcarter@bcarter.com



The fRiDaY File, for June 14

( Go back, forward )

 

 

When I die I want to go like my grandfather

in his sleep,

not screaming like the passengers

in his car.

 

Q: How many Windows programmers does

it take to change a light bulb?

 

A: 472. One to write

WinGetLightBulbHandle,

one to write

WinQueryStatusLightBulb,

one to write

WinGetLightSwitchHandle...

 

Q: How many Customer Support Representatives

does it take to change a light bulb?

 

A: We have an exact copy of the

light bulb here, and it seems to be

working fine. Can you tell me what

kind of system you have?

OK. Now,

exactly how dark is it?

OK, there could be four or five things

wrong... have you tried the

light switch?

 

Q: How many Microsoft technicians does

it take to change a light bulb?

 

A: Three. Two holding the ladder

and one to screw the bulb into a

faucet.

 

Q: How many Microsoft vice presidents

does it take to change a light bulb?

 

A: Eight. One to work the bulb and

seven to make sure Microsoft gets

$2 for every light bulb ever

changed anywhere in the world.

 

Q: How many testers does it take to

change a light bulb?

 

A: We just noticed the room was

dark. We don't actually fix the

problems.

 

Q: How many C++ programmers does it

take to change a light bulb?

 

A: You're still thinking

procedurally. A properly designed

light bulb object would inherit a

change method from a generic light

bulb class, so all you'd have to do

is send a light bulb change

message.

 

Q: How long does it take a computer

repairman to change a light bulb?

 

A: It depends on how many burnt-out

lightbulbs he brought with him.

 

Q: How many Apple Newtons does it take to

change a lightbulb?

 

A: Foux! There to eat lemons, axe

gravy soup.

 

Q: How many Microsoft engineers does

it take to change a light bulb?

 

A: None, Bill Gates will just redefine

Darkness ®

as the new industry standard.

 

Q: How many Microsoft programmers

does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

A: None, they just use OLE and pipe

in light from a bulb in the next

room.

 

Q: How many CompuServe users does

it take to change a lightbulb?

 

A: HEY, I POSTED THIS QUESTION TWO

DAYS AGO AND NOBODY HAS ANSWERED IT.

WHAT GIVES???????

 

Q: How many PowerBuilder programmers

does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

A: GPF

 


Breck Carter can be reached by phone at (416) 763-5200 or via email at bcarter@bcarter.com.